Cheese

I've been maintaing for about 4 months now. At the beginning of March I was 206 and currently the lowest I've clocked is 197. Comparatively speaking, that's the slowest weight loss rate I've seen (the most I lost in a month was 12lbs). It's refreshing to maintain. I've got more to lose, and a certainly plenty of areas to tone, but I've never been at a point where I'm comfortable enough to just stick around the same weight for a bit.

My goal a few months ago was to find some mental balance, and I think I've had success. I am no longer counting calories, I only weigh myself a few times a week (coming down from 14 times a week), and I allow myself to have a variety of foods. Now, one might think "well, you're not losing and isn't that bad!?" Nope. I'm totally ok with it. In fact, I'm gaining. Gaining confidence and a healthy mental perspective on weight loss/nutrition, and it feels GREAT.

Throughout my climb towards health, I'll be honest to admit that it hasn't been what I thought; health is much more of a battle than what I thought it would be. Once I'd reach the end of really tough goals I set, (you know, a 5k, or 12 weeks w/ a personal trainer, or 2 months of Paleo shizz) I'd discover that there are so many more battles for me to fight! And they're hard. Every one of them in a different way (mentally, physically, emotionally, financially). But I look at it like this (and here comes the cheese): I started at the bottom of Mt. Yazvac, made up of tons of tiny hills to climb. The first hill was hard, the second hill was a little harder, and on and on I go. But with each hill, the peak of Mt Yazvac in clearer sight with the final ascent in reach. Along the way I continue to shed garbage, which makes the hardest, steepest, most intense hills actually attainable for me to summit. If I were still battling the mental/physical health that I started with, I could not succeed at the peaks I'm challenged at now.

I'm fired up to reach that peak!!!!

March 2012   -   June 2013

Feel

I set a goal a few months back to get under 200lbs by my one year anniversary of working out. I had 19lbs to lose starting January 1st, and had 60 days to reach the goal. Certainly something I've already succeeded at, so it was a reasonable goal. Not easy, but doable.

I failed.

I lost 11lbs the first month, and 7lbs the second month, in the end coming 2lbs short of my goal.
That last day I practically starved myself from all nutrition, in an effort to make my goal. I maybe had 400 calories. While at work that day, I couldn't even focus on my daily tasks. I only could focus on asking myself if I was doing everything possible to lose weight that day. I came home that night and was a nervous wreck to go to bed because the next morning meant I would step on the scale that displayed my results.

Two days post-goal-date, I found myself having a conversation with my husband which turned out to be mentally healing. We talked about my recent failures, and after a good long cry, I made some goals that I said out loud to him for accountability sake:

• Stop recording my calories. 
• Stop stepping on the scale more than once a day.
• Find out how to maintain a healthy state of mind and body.

Since then I've gained 2-4lbs. 

This may seem like it's not working, but actually is. I'm learning to put away the numbers (on the scale, on the calorie counter, on the treadmill), and just FEEL. 

What feels healthy? 

What feels bloated?

What feels like a good exercise? 

What feels tight? 

What feels full?

What feels strong?

What feels overwhelming?

With each week, even if I gained a pound, I'm learning that's ok, because I want to find out how to maintain this healthy lifestyle by my own emotional AND physical feelings. 

Short

Haven't blogged in a while
Been waiting to publish that wonderland post
Wonderland of less than 200
Not getting there
Upset
Still determined
I was obsessed with health a month ago
Obsessed mentally
Now learning to maintain health
Not as easy to shed
But worth the mental state of mind

D&R Salad

I was inspired by a recent trip to D&R Deli to make this salad on my own. If you haven't been there for lunch, you should make a trip! Healthy, delicious food choices for everyone!

D&R Salad

Ingredients:

(endless opportunities-work with what you love!)

1lb chopped mushrooms

3 hard boiled eggs (chopped)

4 pieces crumbled bacon

1/2 C dried cherries

1/4 C sunflower seeds

1 bag baby spinach

Dressing of choice

Directions:

I like to put everything but the spinach and dressing in one container and make it ahead of time for the week. That way I know my spinach won't wilt, and will stay nice & fresh for a delicious salad. 

Servings: 

About 4 large bowls 

Enjoy!

 

Paleo Dedication

Two days ago I finished out my Paleo fast. I was more than ready to be finished, mostly because half way into February I decided I wasn't going to stay Paleo forever.  A few reasons:

1. I still couldn't get past the whole milk deal. Mammals produce it, but we shouldn't consume it?
2. Grains, historically speaking, have been in the human diet for thousands of years. (mentioned in the Bible as food multiple times!)
3. I started to have a really difficult time digesting. 

I dedicated the Paleo fast to my beloved sister, Jamie, who suffered from a horrible auto-immune disease for over half her life. I only wish she could be here to try it with me.

Paleo: Month 1 Overview

Weight loss: 

January 5th: 216.8 lbs

February 2nd: 207.0 lbs

Rest days: 10 of 28 days

Exercised: 18 of 28 days

I think it's fair to note the food items that I still consume that aren't Paleo:

-85% dark chocolate sweetened with sugar

-A tablespoon or so of 1/2 and 1/2 every day in my coffee

-Cheat times: I ate two chocolate chip cookies on January 11th, and a brownie on the 16th

BEFORE: Nuts, cheese, fruit, and 85% dark chocolate for snacks at work between meals.

AFTER: Mostly veggies and some fruit between meals. 

BEFORE: Hair dry and wouldn't hold curl for more than 2 hours.

AFTER: Hair shiny and healthy looking, will hold minimal curl for days.

BEFORE: Dinner plate would be 1/4 meat, 1/2 'healthy' starch, and 1/4 veggies.

AFTER: Dinner plate is 1/2 meat and 1/2 veggies.

BEFORE: Never noticed being dizzy

AFTER: Dizzy/black out multiple times during the day for a second at a time. Normally happens when I bend over and stand up quickly. 

BEFORE: Healthy snacking all day between meals, resulting in a lower caloric intake at meal time.

AFTER: No snacking between meals, but eating same amount of calories spread between three meals. (Note: I started this approach on week 4 of Paleo.)

BEFORE: Snacking on fruits and nuts after dinner for night-time snack.

AFTER: No eating after dinner or before breakfast the next day.  (Started on week 4)

BEFORE: Regular menstrual cycle.

AFTER: Menstrual cycle came twice in one month.

BEFORE: Painful bowel movements at times.

AFTER: Smooth moves! (No, not even with the help of Traditional Medicinal's)

BEFORE: Small breakfast, medium size lunch, and large dinner. (calorie-speaking)

AFTER: Even amount of calories/protein at each meal. 

BEFORE: $75 per week for groceries (for two of us, of course)

AFTER: $100 per week on average 

Thoughts to note:

• I have been pretty strict with staying on track with Paleo... mostly because I really wanted to dive in and make sure I have a realistic idea of the way this works with my lifestyle/body.
• It's been easier than I thought it would be, but I still have to remind myself daily that food will not control my life. 
• I've enjoyed making lots of new recipes, and not feeling bad about eating a lot of healthy food at each meal. 
• I'm going in another month at this, and I will be just as strict! However, I'm still not committed to make Paleo my lifestyle after month two. 
• February is now the beginning of month 12 of my strict weight-loss/health journey, and last month was certainly my most strict. I really stayed on track. Interestingly enough, I also lost the most amount of weight so far last month. Here's to reaching my weight loss goal of under 200 this month!!!!!

Yay for healthy hair!

 Note, the lower picture is also 3 days post-wash! 

September 2012           November 2012           February  2013

Things

I've found that I like trying new things. Specifically in this category in life (health), it seems like new things are mini challenges.

Thing(s) 1: 
lemon roasted chicken
chicken broth
coconut milk/tomato soup
roasted sweets & beets
green curry

Thing 2: 
24" Box jumps at the gym

Thing 3: 
Wall balls at the gym

Thing 4: 
At-home core work outs that are high rep

Thing 5: 
Listening to free nutrition/fitness pod casts when I do cardio (instead of music)

New Day

Yesterday wasn't the greatest day. I ate way more sugar than I normally should, and I kept fighting myself.... wanting to stop. I actually even gave in to a brownie last night. So dumb. I really don't remember a day that I had so much temptation that I had to battle. This morning I stepped on the scale and gained almost 3 lbs.

BUT

It's 6am in the morning, and it's a new day. I have hope. We're human. I have bad days and can recover from them and bounce right back up. I've packed myself a yummy lunch and healthy snacks for work, I got good rest last night, and I'm hopeful of a great workout after work.

Here's to today!!!

Day 17: Rough.

I'm having a rough day emotionally. I'm at work (gasp! blogging!) and I feel like the only cure to feeling better- other than going home, would be to go back and grab some Skittles or Kit Kats. We're ordering from Arni's today and I couldn't think of anything that sounds more delicious than a hot ham & cheese sandwich.

This is kinda scary, because I'm experiencing exactally what so much of us struggle with- emotional eating.

So what do I do? Hope it gets better by blogging (accountability)? Hope my celery and peanut butter will be enough to cure the craving? Give in a little?

Ugh.

Day 16

I'm 16 days in and it's the first day I'm craving bread. I went to Jane's Deli, ordered a delicious side of fruited chicken salad, and forgot to ask for no bread. My meal came out with this delicious, sponge-y, fresh slices of bread, paired with real butter.

I'm happy to say I resisted, and hopefully it will get easier every time I say no!

Inspiration: Maggie Mathew

I've said that a lot of credit goes to people around who inspire me or are there to uplift me when I'm down about my weight. I'm super greatful to have my dear friend, Maggie Mathew not only there for me, but actually right next to me winning the battle.

She started making an effort to lose weight in June of 2011. Eight months later, she was 35lbs lighter, and decided to become vegeterian. Since then, she's lost an additional 45lbs, making here total weight loss 80lbs!

Maggie is one of those friends that not only can relate, but will step back and help me see the big picture. You know, like when I'm frusterated that I gained two pounds, she'll remind me that it's okay and it will come off, because look how far we've come and reminds me we'll never go back. Man! That kind of encouragement is so valuable! Also, I really apprecaite having a friend that enjoys outdoor recreational activities with me! She shares that joy, and I'm guilty of taking that for granted at times.

Thanks so much, Maggie, for inspiring me to make weight loss a part of my life instead of making it my life. I'm super greatful to walk in the journey towards health with you, and I'm confident we can both accomplish our goals!

Paleo: Week 1

I'm still on board!

Day one and two I was feeling a bit hungry towards the evening hours. Pre-paleo, I would normally cure this with a bite of peanut butter washed down with some milk. I certainly was craving that (remember, I really love dairy!), but I just turned to fruit or veggies as a midnight snack.

Day three was a bit rough, as I'm pretty sure my body decided it was the clean-out-Hannah's-bowels day. It actually had me a bit worried, since I haven't experienced diarrhea for a few years.

Day four the bowels were back to normal, and I was feeling fit and tight. Actually, day four marked the loss of 5lbs since I started paleo. Seems a little quick.

It's been easy for me to reject grains and legumes, but so far it's still really hard to say no to dairy. I mean, I still have maybe a tablespoon of 1/2 and 1/2 in my coffee (which I'm trying to wean off), but other than that I've not given in to that delicious gallon.

Something I've noticed is it's hard to get in the amount of calories that I need in a day's time. Since I'm still lifting and doing cardio, I know I need to support that muscle with some quality food! Here are some foods I've been eating:
- Tuna salad: tuna, apples, celery, nuts, mayo
- Eggs (we went through 2 dozen in ONE week)
- Pistachios
- Curry (endless possibilities!)
- Almond butter (expensive, but it's my treat)
- Cauliflower 'pizza': cauliflower crust, candied onions, figs, spinach

This week I'm trying some new curry recipes as well as Hungarian beef stew. Honestly, it's nice to have an excuse for new recipes!

Goals: 2013

Sometimes it's best if I just make lists.

1. I haven't blogged for a while. Not because I'm unmotivated, but because I've had some unexpected events come up this winter (not to mention holidays!) and quite frankly, with the time I had, blogging wasn't top priority.

2. While I haven't gained weight, I haven't really lost any in the last 3 months either. I know why, and the only person stopping myself from changing that is me. I've been lazy on watching my sugar intake (especially from dried fruits!) and I've had some meals that just were full of simple carbs.  During the holiday travel, I didn't get to the gym for 20 days. I tried to incorporate exercise while I was out, and I know that helped, but I really missed my routine with food and my gym at home.

3. I've been thinking about going Paleo for a while. I'm still not sold on it, because I really love dairy and can't fathom it being bad for you. I mean, I'm created to make milk to nourish my children! I know breast milk isn't what we're buying by the gallon, but I've come to find out that goat's milk is similar to ours, and on Paleo you can't even consume that. Sounds like I've got some research to do.

4. I've also been thinking about how I can be encouraging to my friends and family in regards to nutrition and exercise. Whether they say it or not, I'm sure most of my friends desire good health. We all do, right? I'm thinking of ways we can accomplish goals together instead of feeling like no one else has 25lbs to lose. Specifically, one thought I had was starting a yoga night at our place. Possibilities are endless!

5. I went to a CrossFit event here in West Lafayette and it just filled my heart with joy. There was a guest speaker who talked about nutrition (specifically Paleo) which was really informative. I learned/realized that I'm not alone- there are more people in this town that are working towards holistic health. Don't underestimate your community!

Goals for 2013

1. Cut bread out completely
2. Weigh under 200lbs by March 1st
3. Try Paleo diet (and be strict!) for two months
4. Find a scary challenge to accomplish
5. Limit of two coffee drinks a day
6. Group exercise or cooking days?